Kid Conversations

I have a feeling that one day I will be sad that the kids are all grown up and out of the house.  I will have to rely on others to amuse me with their funny kid stories.  In the meantime, I enjoy the conversations I overhear the girls having with one another as well as the funny things they are compelled to tell me.  Here's just a sampling of some of the things I've heard in the last week.

Exhibit A:  Emma and Charlotte telling jokes in the car

Charlotte: What do you get when you have a witch at the beach?
Emma: A...bitch?  [Brian and I were dying in the front seat.]
Charlotte: No, a sandwich.

Exhibit B: Unsolicited conversation with Cristina at 6 a.m.

Cristina: Mom, did you know that mermaids have really bad memories?  When they see a stick with points on the end, they call it a bangerhopper.  They're not like humans who know it is a fork.  They just think it is something you use to brush your hair.  That's why humans and mermaids are so different.

Exhibit C:  After dinner conversation with Charlotte

Charlotte: Mom, I just can't decide which I should be.

Me: Which what?

Charlotte: I can't decide if I should be part of the population that doesn't get married and have kids or be part of the population that helps the population by getting married and having kids?  Why did you decide to have kids?

Me: Well, I always wanted to be a mom and have cute kids.

Charlotte: Well, I guess if you had decided to be a part of the other population, then I wouldn't be here.

Me: Pretty much.

Exhibit D: Emma and Charlotte discussing weekend plans on Thursday night

Emma: Did you know that we have Monday off?

Charlotte: Yes, everyone knows that.

Emma: Well, I didn't know until Miss Felton told us.

Charlotte: We have it off to celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr.

Emma: Well, I know what I am going to do. I'm going to sleep!  [Side note: Martin Luther King, Jr. has a better chance of showing up at the King Center than Emma has of sleeping past 6 a.m.]

Charlotte: Oh, no, you are not!  We are going to be celebrating Martin Luther King, not sleeping.

Fast forward to Monday when Charlotte finds a party popper in the house.

Charlotte: Mom, can I use this?

Me: Sure.

Charlotte: Okay, everyone, it is time to celebrate Martin Luther King!  Hold your ears.  (Pulls the party popper and confetti flies out.)

She was beyond thrilled at her personal celebration.